Our school is divided into middle school and high school. Most of the students in the middle school hope to go straight to high school, but the competition is extremely intense and hard. I clearly remember the day when the admission list was announced. The atmosphere in the classroom was a lot dignified. The look of the students when they were laughing and laughing was not as natural as usual. Some people can't stand the temper and go straight to the office to peek at the list. The classmates who were admitted, smiled, and the spring breeze; the students who were not admitted, some were close to the lips, some quietly shed tears, and some were strong and smiling, but the reddish corners of the eyes still revealed that the classmates told me that I was accepted. I just faintly responded, not because I was not excited, but because the taste was too complicated, and I couldn��t tell how many feelings were mixed. In the following math class, I couldn��t listen to it in almost one sentence Newport 100S. I went around in my mind for more than two years, and when my nerves were twisted into the first day of the twist, I could enter every exam. In the top ten of the class, the language test has repeatedly ranked first. At that time, I still didn't realize the hardships of learning. I was still as playful and lazy as I was in elementary school. I always thought that I was only in the first day, and there was a lot of time. I could play for a while. However, after the second grade, science became a lot harder, and I began to feel more than enough. In this state, I even took the whole unit countdown to the simple unit test. In the face of the face of the math teacher who is not severe, I feel that my heart is blocked, uncomfortable, and I want to cry. After returning home, my father has been black-faced and seriously reveals the haze that scares me. I really couldn't stand it, rushed into the bathroom and wept in the mirror. At first, I just bit my lip and let the tears slide down my cheeks. Later, the wheezing sound overflowed from the biting lips, and the crying sounded like the big water that broke the dyke, and it was unstoppable. I don't know how long I have been crying, just crying to the end, it's the whole person sitting on the floor against the wall. Since then, I have been in a daze. Sometimes I suddenly stare at the tall buildings in the distance, thinking that if I jumped from above, wouldn't it be so troublesome? Sometimes I rubbed my white wrist, thinking that if I put a knife on it, would it be over? During that time, I was always thinking about various methods of suicide. Even before I went to bed, I still hope that I can't afford to sleep. Never wake up. What I think about every day is when I will die. I believe that I will commit suicide, but it is a matter of time. Looking back now, I can't believe I have had those dark ideas. I think those ideas are like a dream, but they are truly undeniable. The teacher of the first-year research study class once said: "There are some cowardly people who will commit suicide when they encounter a little setback. But if people have After the death, will it not be reincarnation after death?" I sneered at it. But when I became the weak person, I had different ideas. I am really weak, but it is the idea of ??a lighter life when the pressure is greater. Fortunately, this silly thought did not know when it began to fade from my mind. Until one day, I suddenly found out that I had such a thought, and I was shocked. As if there was no transition in the middle, the world would be bright and broad. That confused, dark time was buried in my heart Marlboro Cigarettes, as a scar of growth, but also as a warning. I once talked to my classmate about life and death. The classmate said that he had asked her mother: "What if you were dead?" Her mother looked at her and replied faintly: "I have no hope of living Marlboro Lights. After listening, my heart curled up. Yes, no matter what my grades, no matter what value I have for other people, I am the daughter of mom and dad, their hope, this is the initial value of my life. Looking back at the first and second day, I thought of my father��s increasingly white hair and deeper wrinkles. I suddenly felt my eyes sore and hurriedly looked up and blinked, so I didn��t let the tears flow down after class. On the table, it was very tired, but my heart was clear: I finally knew to cherish the time, and I finally realized what the initial value of my life was - I was the hope of my father and mother, and wrote the "I" once, Confused, unclear the value of life, even life; past and present, plus the words of "classmates", to understand the initial value of life after experiencing pain - to live for family. Emotional ups and downs, emotional performance, detail description very well written, vivid detail to show the inner struggle, confusion and awakening.